Would you Lie for your Child?

I spent part of this weekend catching up on some long overdue magazine reading. It was the April 2009 issue of “Parenting” that challenged my thinking. Each issue has a “Mom Debate” section and this month’s question was “Would you lie to get your kid out of trouble?” Without hesitation, my immediate, emphatic thought was “Of course not!” To me, it seemed such an obvious answer that I was surprised that a whopping 42% responded, “Yes.” I had to read the sample responses.

The parents who responded “No” cited reasons similar to my own. Parents didn’t want to set a poor example for their children, they were worried that kids wouldn’t learn that actions have consequences if Mom always fixed the situation, and they also felt that one lie would lead to even more.

The following rationale fell into the “Yes” category.

“It depends on the situation. If it would prevent my kid from getting beat up, yes, I would lie. If the principal called and asked if I knew my kid skipped a class, no, I would not lie. Bottom line, never say never, parents. Parenting is not black-and-white.” –Panda Roo on Parenting.com

“Bottom line, never say never, parents. Parenting is not black-and-white.” These two little sentences and the statement that a lie may be warranted if your child were in danger really challenged my thinking and reminded me that indeed, parenting is not black-and-white. After all, as parents, we often know what to do in theory but are confronted with countless practical situations where the books just don’t have all the answers.

This “Mom Debate” was a gentle and welcome reminder that many parenting decisions fall into “gray areas” and that as parents we should support each other and refrain from judgment.